Okay. So, colorguard tryouts were today. I made it in, and my day got pretty good. Then, I get home, only to realize that I weigh 148 and my computer's stupid and so now I can't do my science project which is due tomorrow. Even better, a razor blade takes a 1 1/2 inch bite into my chest. So, yeah.

Sorry guys, didn't mean to suddenly die. I turned to journaling for a while, but then something happened and I just couldn't do it because it hurt too much to write and see the evidence on the page. Then, I'm all like, "FUCKMYLIFEMYXANGA!!!!" So, here I am. Get ready for a fuckload of updates.

First off, Creeper Ex Boyfriend is still following me around like a sick puppy. I think he got the point because one of my friends told him that I don't like him and now he just stares at me instead of talking to me and grabbing my arm in the hallway. I can deal with staring. I'm moving on now. Six guys asked me out two weeks ago (two sophmores, two juniors, a senior, and a 22 year old). I met a really nice guy. He's a sophmore, is friggin' huge (think wrestler), and we share the same love of music, mafia movies, and anger for the world. We went out for a day. He broke up with me because he didn't want to be in a relationship that everybody knew about (half the school already now), which I can understand, because it's irritating to have people going all gaga over us and having other guys give me the Evil Eye. I have other thoughts though, because he was complaining that I was going to make him wait a month and a half until we had sex. Then, I met this OTHER guy who's 17, tall, and has brown hair. He drinks (BOOO) but he's seems really nice. I've never seen him before. We've only texted. He's a country boy, and I don't really like country people; I'm fully convinced that I belong in The City That Never Sleeps. Plus, this guy saw my winterguard pictures on Facebook and said I needed to lose 40 pounds. So, yeah. Fuck him. I'm on my way to going back out with the first dude.. I already have his number and he said that he'll probably reconsider it.

Winterguard season is almost over :(. We got second place in our division though, so that's a plus. I will definetly remember this season. Wednesday night, our team is going to the CheeseCake Factory, and rumor is, our coach is going to get us a limo. sssshhhh!!!!

Yesterday, we went to Iowa City to visit my aunt. She has terminal cancer level 4 in her liver and they're only giving her chemotherapy so she can live a little bit longer. I don't like to think that she's going to die; I just like to think that her character will live on in all of us. It was horrible seeing her in the hospital. Her hair is falling out, she only weighs 92 pounds, and she just didn't look like the aunt I knew. I knew it was her, but it seemed like she was a complete stranger.

Luckilly, she got released when we were there. We went to her house and waited for her to get cleaned up so we could go eat. Her son, Eric-which I guess makes him my cousin-, was there. He seems pretty nice. He acted really weird, mostly cuddling with the chiuauah and looking like he just wanted us out of there. Turns out, he has a mental illness. But, he likes KoRn and he got really interested whenever my dad started talking about Rockfest and the Alice in Chains concert.

Let's just say it was pretty awesome to see my aunt crank out KoRn facts faster than Feildy's memoir.

Anyhoo, when she came out of the bathroom, I knew she was my aunt. Her hair was teased and gelled and smelled like hair products. She had a pound of makeup on and she was wearing six-inch heels. We had a conversation about shoes. :D

We eneded up eating at Country Kitchen (I had Eggs Benidict). It was horrible to see my aunt eat because the chemo makes her lose her appetite and she can't eat that many foods. And here I am, chowing down on hashbrowns and bacon. Seeing her at only 92 pounds snapped my senses back to reality and made me think that proana/mia is a bunch of bullshit. Nobody wants to be that thin. When you see someone that size because they have terminal cancer, it makes you think.

So, then we went over and saw my cousin, Miranda, and her baby, Jack (Who has some um, issues, but the most gorgeous blue eyes. He likes cookies and getting his picture taken). After giving them a giant chocolate chip cookie, like the size of a pie pan, we were off. We didn't get back until 12.

I ended up drink 68 ounces of tea yesterday. And I also got new hair mousse.

Hey, I like my hair products.

And that puts us in today which say Beh go to hell, Monday.

Thanks to my dog, there will now be a piece of plexiglass blocking the entrance to my room when we're gone. Um, I understand that we're trying to save my bedding and socks from the Furminator, but I was aiming for a rock/artsy vibe, not a DIY/construction vibe. Plus, if I get home from something and run into my room, there's a possibility that I could fall on my face.

Tonight was guard (and creeper ex wasn't there! YAYYYYYY!!!!). The newspaper was coming to take pictures and interview us. So, we spend and hour getting our hair, makeup, and outfits ready. When the newspaper dude comes, he interviews our coach for like 30 minutes while we randomly toss sabres and rifles. Then, we run through the routine in the band room (which looks really shitty without our tarp and props), he takes a few pictures, and leaves. Our JV didn't get their pictures taken or anything. I felt pretty bad because they're in a new division and they deserve to be aknowledged. Plus they got ready for nothing. The rest of practice was decent. We cleaned up a lot of stuff and I can finally FINALLY toss my flag so my partner catches it. This weekend is going to be very important because our scores determine wether we place or not at State. Also, next week, we go to Atlanta. So, bight your nails for us.

So far, I've lost five pounds. That was my goal. I like this a lot because I have a lot of wiggle room. One of my friends noticed...

I've been eating like no other. I just wanna sleep right now...